Pascal
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Post by Pascal on Dec 24, 2014 10:24:53 GMT
Inspired by Past Moments of Glory in Tabletop Games. Come here and share your stories of roleplaying failure and stupidity. Awhile back, I was GMing for a handful of friends. Some of them had little-to-no roleplaying experience, but they were all interested. We had a Sorceress, a Rogue, a Fighter, and a Barbarian. I also played as a powerless ghost that traveled with the party so I could nudge them in the right direction if they got stuck, but wouldn't steal the spotlight. The quest was pretty straightforward: The Queen's daughter has been kidnapped. Go get her back from the bad guys. Crack some skulls along the way. Have a good time. Shouldn't be too difficult, right? For the first session, the party met in a tavern, got drunk, and grab-assed for an hour. I was worried that I wasn't doing a good job GM-ing, since they didn't seem to be in a hurry to get started on their quest, but they all said they had fun, so we decided to play again the next day. For the second session, I was going to have an action scene aboard a giant steam train to get things rolling. Here's how it went: The party stands outside the tavern, ready to begin their quest. Ghost: The train station would be the quickest way to our destination. Sorceress: That'll never work. Ghost: What? Sorceress: The townspeople are obviously racist against Barbarian's people. They'll never let us onboard. We'll have to break in. Ghost: The locals are fine with Barbarian, or they wouldn't have let her into the city in the first place. Also, the train station is a public area open to everyone, and it's the middle of the afternoon. You can just walk right in. Sorceress: Do we have enough money for tickets? Rogue: Looks like we have . . . about seven dollars between us. Fighter: We'll have to rob someone. Rogue: I check to see if there are any expensive-looking shops around. Ghost: You're on a mission from the Queen. I'm sure they'll let you ride for free if you show them the royal seal. Fighter: I have an idea. You guys take Barbarian around back. I'll get the tickets. I have a bad feeling about Fighter's "idea", but at least they're finally heading to the damn train, so I don't argue. While the others try to sneak Barbarian into the train station in a friendly city in broad daylight, Fighter goes up to the cashier. Cashier: Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you? Fighter immediately punches the cashier in the throat, and grabs tickets. He makes a run for it, but is apprehended by guards, who brutally beat him with clubs and haul him off to jail. I rage quit. The moral: I need better friends to play with. |
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madgeorge
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Post by madgeorge on Dec 25, 2014 1:11:27 GMT
I've a tale about a short lived session I was a part of in Warhammer Fantasy rp. It is a tale of how one mans sudden and rather unexpected hatred of a halfling ended with an almost total party kill.
Our group was a pretty oddly arranged bunch. We had a priest of Verena, the goddess of justice, a halfling thief (me), an elven outlaw, a mage, a knight and a bounty hunter.
Our journey began with the party meeting each other at various point's on the road to Marienburg, when we eventually came across a caravan that had been attacked. The priest, being the lawful good/stupid of the group,decided to help whoever had been attacked. The owner in question was a halfling. He told us that the bandits stole all his possessions and kidnapped his cousin and brother. Being the helpful lot that we were, we agreed to help in exchange for some gold, so the halfling pointed us towards the direction of the bandits camp.
Making our way towards the camp, we waited on the outskirts to come up with a plan of attack.... unfortunately, the priest had other ideas. Remember how I added stupid? Yeah...the moron ran right into the middle of the camp and began spouting a load of justice crap and how the bandits should turn themselves in. They of course took offense to this and almost turned him into a human pincushion when the knight ran in to save his arse. Cue everyone else running in to join the bandit beat down and the camp is soon cleared.
I soon found the two halflings, tied up in a tent. It was then that the bounty hunter walked in behind me. Now, the guy who played the hunter is a friend of mine, and he's known to be pretty...psychotic. He took one look at the tied up halflings and cut ones head off with little remorse. Of course most of us are aghast by this,except for the mage who sides with the hunter and knight who didn't care and walked away.
Skip forward a few combat turns and we've not progressed much, though through all this, the GM is sat there with the biggest grin on his face. He clears his throat and announces that all those still in the camp hear an almighty crack of trees parting followed by a shadow looming over us. A forest giant heard our commotion and thought we were play toys. We all pull a Scooby doo and bolt the fuck outta there, except for the hunter,who seen it as a challenge...he ended up being thrown other the giants shoulder at several miles an hour and smashed into a tree, insta koing him, and then the big bastard took off after us.
Needless to say, he wiped us out in fairly dramatic ways. I was rugby kicked into a river, were I was unconscious and drowned, the elf tried to stealth, but bodged his roll and was crushed to death as the giant stood on him, the priest was also rugby kicked, but he smashed threw a tavarn roof into the middle of a bar brawl where he was trampled to death by many patrons and the mage became a snack. The only one that survived was our knight, as she had made it to Marienburg and waited in a pub.
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someoneornot
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Post by someoneornot on Dec 25, 2014 2:02:30 GMT
We were a party of four. There was a human cleric of Pelor, an elven druid and his direwolf, a dwarven anointed knight of Heironeous, and myself, a halfling rogue/assassin. We had been sent out to scout out an invading army, in order to determine their strength.
We came across the camp at night, and we decided to send the one stealth based character to deal with them as best she could. (It should be noted that my character did not have the best relationships with the rest of the party due to the sanctimonious nature of the anointed knight and the cleric and the sarcastic nature of my character- lawful good and chaotic evil do not mix well).
Through extraordinarily good dice rolls, I managed to kill over half the camp before getting discovered. I was then promptly thrown into a convenient pit, and had to wait for a few hours for the rest of my companions to decide to rescue me. Due to horrible dice rolls, they also all end up captured, and we are all dumped in an extremely tough dungeon to "prove our worthiness."
We manage to survive the dungeon, losing only the direwolf to a well-placed fire trap. So we have to fight the leader of the invading force, to defeat this army and defend our country. By the skin of our teeth and all the cleric's healing spells, we 'win.'
Our reward? A Deck of Many Things.
Three out of four members of the party somehow draw the Void. Leaving just the greedy halfling, who promptly draws the Skull/Death, summoning a dread wraith. Within three hits, I'm reduced to -1 CON.
In summary, at the height of our victory, a tpk through a Deck of Many Things.
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Post by frostedcupcake on Dec 26, 2014 8:56:19 GMT
So in a Pathfinder game on roll20 I was playing a ratfolk Alchemist, the other party members were a drow Bard, and a human Summoner.
It should have been an easy enough mission.
Our goal was to search for totems for the king and destroy them to get payed handsomely. The totems were believed to cause the misfortunes which fell upon the kingdom lately and the court mage already gave us the location of our first one. All we had to do is go to this rather idealistic calm little village and find the totems exact location to destroy it.
So soon enough our search comes to the villages inn. All seems as usual inside, there are some patrons and the inn keeper....so our Summoner decides to go over and chat up the inn keeper. And gets piss drunk, our strongest fighting power drunk already!
So the shadiest two members of the party, my Alchemst and the Bard sneak by to the door to the storage because the court wizards totem finding trinket (tm) was leading us that way. The Bard lock picks the door open, and lo and behold we see the totem! Right before the two of us are attacked by bats...the Bard fails a roll and goes down almost immediately, I get a few potion bomb throws in but am bleeding out from the attacks and so retreat. Success! Kind of.
DM: "In a true rat fashion the Alchemist scurries off away from the fight, the bats attack the patrons who came to investigate the noise. The Bard is bleeding out on the floor."
Our drunken Summoner tank finally realizes what is going on as my character comes running by and goes to go and try to save the day. Rather badly with the drunken -s to his rolls and starts getting pummeled by bats. I hunker down and start brewing a health potion behind a table.
At this point we can hear the DM sigh heavily over skype as it looks like our first adventure was going to end with bats murdering us, while we the players are laughing madly at the events.
DM: "Satisfied with killing and sucking out the blood of the patrons the bats fly out an opened window."
Then the inn keep stomped out the totem, and started demanding of us what happened. So I run over to the Bard and heal him up and then we get outta there in shame.
From that day on bats were our most feared opponents and our 'greatest' enemy. And we continued to be the unluckiest party even as more people joined in.
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annajiejie
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That's how it goes, you think you're on top of the world, and suddenly they spring Armageddon on you
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Post by annajiejie on Dec 27, 2014 5:24:19 GMT
I'm not sure if this counts as a fail, since the players actually succeeded, but the overall outcome was extremely detrimental to everything they'd been trying to accomplish up until then.
I was running Changeling: The Lost for some college friends. The players were an eccentric group, with more social/mental skills than physical ones. I decided to give them a challenge that would be resolved more through cleverness and intuition than brute force. I had them get lost in maze-like portion of the Hedge - a dangerous border between the human world and the faerie world where violent fey creatures roam and the thorns can literally rip out pieces of your soul if you're not careful. The players were being hunted by a pair of murderous half-fey twins. They stalked the players from the shadows, emerging once every so often to try and whittle down the PC's stamina with well-aimed knife wounds, and were immune to player magic. I expected the party to use their wits to either use the maze's dangers against the children, or to find the hidden escape routes an solve the puzzles blocking the exits.
So what does one of the PCs do? She, being a caregiver by nature with a soft spot for kids, TALKED to the twins. She tried to convince them that what they are doing is wrong and that that they should try to be better people. Now the thing about these creatures (fetchspawn, to use game terminology), is that they are completely soulless. They have no concept of emotion or morality. Social interactions baffle them. But this particular PC rolled so well that I couldn't just have them ignore her attempts to reason with them. So they decided to stop attacking. And then came the kicker: The PC offered to take them home with her.
Yes. That's a grand idea. Take the blood-thirsty little bastards to a crowded city. I bet they'll LOVE it.
Naturally, I allowed this. Within the week the majority of the NPCs turned against the party for bringing such dangerous creatures into the world. So in addition to everyone hating them, the PCs also had sociopathic children disemboweling animals in the apartment bathtub.
Needless to say I revised the entire plot to revolve around the fallout from this. It was glorious.
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emulegs
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Post by emulegs on Dec 27, 2014 6:02:58 GMT
It's not on a grand scale, but the resident bard failed a DC2 dex roll to catch an ale being slid to him on the bar. The barkeep asked the party to leave in embarrassment.
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