I had a halfling sorcerer named Pezzle in one campaign, and you could say he had impulse control issues. For example, the party was in some tiny, half-buried old fortress (or something like that, this was quite some time ago) and we came across a door with a barred window in the top of it. The regular-sized folks could look through it, and saw what looked like the coils of a giant snake. I convinced one of them to hold me up, and with my arms dangling through, I decided to cast Fireball at it, just to see what would happen. For the record, "what would happen" is that your party frantically exits the building, halfling in tow, to escape an inexplicably angry snake. >_> That was just an early episode in a campaign that ended with us causing the downfall of the entire pantheon of gods, pretty much by accident.
One of my favorite moments was when I ran a level 50 game for my players. It was basically a one shot experiment just to try out some realy high level stuff and give the players a taste of crazy power levels.
One of my players, by far the most rules savy created this unbeleivable sorcerer build I believe it was Sorc 13/ Archmage 5/ Metaphysical Spell Shaper 3 /Master of Unseen Hand 5/ Arcane Leech 1/ Sun-Mage 1/ Planeshifter 10/ Seeker 1/ LoreMaster 1, with 10 levels worth of level adjustment from templates and such. He was Valister, The Archmage
I knew I was in for a very powerful player, and while the others were each plenty strong on their own, he was by far the strongest. So I knew I had to make a truly epic adventure.
Picture a day like any other, until, the skies over the western coast are blotted out by a vast fleet of iron ships and iron creatures, a legion of deadly flying machines, dropping down dozens of iron golems each across the entire coast, a massive mothership that made colossal size sound feeble, thousands of lightning bolt turrets, whirling blades, deadly spike launching machine guns, and a factory that churned out paragon awakened iron golems every round.
This was the challenge set before my spellcasting player. Elsewhere in the worlds equally epic threats were breaking out all at once, an entire epic adventure's worth of enemies for each player to handle. But this story is about Valister. He glides towards the massive armada but when they open fire it is not the singular wizard they're aiming at, but the city behind him. Fortunately Valister had readied a flurry of massive force walls, so big he was able to shield the entire town from the bombardment. He stopped the entire fleet's attacks all at once, and that was just part of his immediate action.
Then he stopped time. But unlike most wizards he didn't just stop it for a few rounds. Through a combination of being able to absorb spell energy, convert spell slots around, and then use those spell slots to cast more spells at himself Valister had turned his body into a perpetual magic generating machine, the end result of which being the ability to stop time at will. A lesser man would have stopped time for hours, preparing countless offenses to trigger all at once, and then annihilate the enemy. But Valister was not so simple. He stopped time for /years/. He walked through every single hallway aboard the vast mothership, he made sketches and notes and paintings, he made a cast of the entire ship, he paced it's lonely mechanical halls, admiring and caressing each new peiece, every new invention, he recorded them all. Finally, when he'd committed every inch of that masterpiece to memory he unstopped time and unleashed a salvo of magic so powerful it cleared clouds from the entire hemisphere and obliterated the entire fleet. To everyone else, it seemed like just another display of raw power. But few knew valister well enough to understand that he could never destroy such a work of magic and technology, he'd preserve it forever in his mind, for he was a scholar first, and an Archmage second.
My favorite character from 3.5 was my Human Warblade Elenora. I typically play a spell caster and/or a social oriented character, so she was different for me.
Her story started with her stealing her father's armor and sword and traveling to the nearby town to join the military, which did not allow women to join. After besting two fighters in a row, she goaded (with gestures alone as she refused to remove her helmet or speak) the battle master who was testing the potential recruits into sending out a dire badger. Elenora narrowly won the battle and was recruited.
A short time later, she encountered the party as each was summoned by the king's steward. He selected various individuals who were not important enough to be missed, but useful enough to complete a difficult mission: Travel to the Dwarven lands, across the northern mountain range and speak with their leaders to obtain help in the coming war.
I loved to play this character because she had no knowledge of any of the creatures that we fought, but would come up with new names for them, like flying earth golems (Gargoyles), or Squid-faces (Illithids). She would always bravely push to the front of every battle, throwing aside caution for brazen glory, but was terrified of tiny spiders that landed in her hair. My DM even threw in a romance sub-plot with a Paladin (an officer for the enemy side of the war) which was a lot of fun for me.
It was a lot of fun, it was completely optimized and it was a character I will never forget.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Make a fortitude save.
I had a Tiefling wizard named Havir who was short, angry, and blunt. She was hired by the parents of my friend's character (nicknamed "Pretty McUseless") as a guard/teacher. Because Pretty was a sorceress and not a wizard, Havir's value as a teacher was zero, but she made up for that as a guard by being blindly loyal to Pretty and nobody else in the party, which resulted in people getting set on fire during battle because they had gotten in her way. This sounds like a surefire way to make people mad but Havir emerged as the rational and grounded party member (despite her short temper), and she was a ton of fun to play.
If I have to pick another, I had a friend who made a noble for the same campaign: extremely high charisma and no other useful skills. His finest moment was successfully distracting an orc raiding party with his fancy hat for long enough for the other characters to murder everything and get barely a scratch of damage.
One of my favorite moments was when I ran a level 50 game for my players. It was basically a one shot experiment just to try out some realy high level stuff and give the players a taste of crazy power levels.
Duckandroll, that is truly awesome. I might have to come up with my own super-epic scenario, if I ever find another group to play with.
My personal favorite would have to be from my playgroups first main campaign we did together. His name: Chen-jo, the Svirfneblin Monk. He was the DM's NPC, created in half an hour to fill up the party(we we're a small playgroup). Chen-jo did one thing, and one thing well: he pissed everyone off. Especially me, the Ranger. I'm still not convinced that the DM didn't make him just to nullify my archery. The entire fighting style was disarming people and catching arrows.
Our DM soon grew to regret creating Chen-jo, when in what we were to learn later was suppose to be a scripted boss fight resulting in our deaths(we were Lvl 5's vs a CR 14 Red Dragon), a perfect storm occurred. With both the backing of a Bard's Inspire Courage and a Cleric's Bull's Strength, Chen-jo crit, rolled max damage, dealing Massive damage to the dragon. The dragon just had to roll a 2 on his Fort. save to avoid dying. And of course, the DM pulls up his screen to reveal a 1. The dragon the DM spent several hours building one-shot.
The DM later tried to kill off Chen-jo, but without resorting to DM Lightning. He couldn't. Chen-jo resisted all attempts to kill him. A 120 ft fall left him on a knee, with the party's Wand 'o Cure Light. Sufficient to say, Chen-jo became a permanent part of our party for that campaign.
In one of our later campaigns, we ran across The Church of Chen-jo. Of course after he leaves the party he ascends to Godhood. Best NPC ever.
Glordinauk "Graystone" Nural, a Shield Dwarf from Baldur's Gate. Psion (Shaper), happy to use his abilities in the continuation of dwarven crafts, but very interested in figuring out how he came to have these abilities (and fears his ancestry may contain some Duergar corruption).
Lam, a Changeling Wizard. The unknown 13th son of Alustriel Silverhand and the Doppelganger Phlynk. His backstory at the start of the campaign was that he had been a fairly potent wizard, but a disastrous encounter with a pack of wights left his adventuring companions dead (or undead); he barely got out alive, and lost much of his gear and levels. So now he's looking to refill the holes torn in his mind/soul... and tries not to get too frustrated when encountering situations which he could easily solve, if he could just remember!
Richard Oldeman, Human Psion (Shaper)/Constructor/Renegade Mastermaker. A skilled sculptor who discovered his ability to create objects and creatures (astral costructs) with a thought. Captured by evil cultists and forced to make statues for them, which they'd animate as clay, iron, and stone golems; forced to watch as they sacrificed his mother in one of their rituals. Went a bit mad, and became convinced of the superiority of constructs over living beings, and of his own burgeoning divinity. Adventured through the Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil. Saved a group of hobgoblins one one adventure, who formed the core of his cult. Eventually did become a quasi-deity (Divine Rank 0) of crafts (particularly armor, weapons, and other military crafts) and constructs.
Odokwarque, my Epic character. Began as a Human Psion (Egoist), when last I played him he was a Doppelganger Psion (Egoist)/Chameleon/Mindpsy/WarShaper. Favored the forms of Aberrations, Oozes, and Vermin; a favorite combat trick was to fly over someone as some sort of diminutive insect, then shift into a black pudding and fall on them. He & his party traveled to many alternate worlds, including the Star Trek verse, where they fought the 'Borg.
Shujinko Sanako, Crab Clan Shugenja/Reibai Medium (Oriental Adventures/Rokugan). Retired after a life of adventuring to tend to the shrine of Grandfather Mountain, and is quite happy doing so. Tries not to dwell on how all her previous adventuring companions were either killed or corrupted by the forces of the Shadowlands.
Probably my favorite character was a level 20 fighter I made based on an anime character named Mugai. In the show, Mugai is insanely overpowered and has a massive, impractical sword at least 10 or 15 feet tall by my estimations. So, when making the character, I have him a greatsword one size too big (his attack bonus was huge so the size penalty wasn't an issue) and a speed enchantment so it got 5 attacks per turn. On a full attack, if he hit all the attacks it did on average 100 damage per round. Mugai kicked all kinds of ass in the campaign but his life was all but too short. The party was attacking a castle occupied by hill giants, and Mugai used his sword to slice through the main door. A giant attacked him, did minimal damage, and died in two turns. Then another giant with a greataxe attacked. I was expecting a similar outcome, but the bastard rolled a nat 20 for X3 damage, totaling at around 60 (maybe a fourth of my health, nowhere close to killing me). I'm not sure if this is a canon rule or not, but my DM at the time had a rule that if you were hit by a single attack dealing over 50 damage you had to roll a fort save or die of massive damage. Normally my fort bonus was higher than the DC for the save, but that one time I rolled a natural one, killing me instantly. Essentially, the only possible way for me to die there was dependent on both the giant rolling a natural 20 and me rolling a natural one, meaning my death had a 1 in 400 chance of occurring and still did. I was rather pissed about this. Thankfully Mugai's story didn't end quite there, as one of the party members was a necromancer. She brought me back to life as a mummy, giving me a +8 bonus to my already enormous strength, and damage reduction. Mugai the mummy came back stronger than ever. The campaign sort of pittered out soon after that, but I never forgot the awesome badass that was Mugai.
The character I enjoyed most was Jack Sintelston, a Human Bard 7/Lore Master 5. He was completely focussed on knowledge and forseeing. His only function in battle was to analyse the enemy with his knowledge check and spells and shouting hints at the players. For the party he was also a free identifying machine... But they did use my castle and peons a lot. Jack had the Leadership feat and this had resulted in a giant flock of followers who wanted to learn from Jacks wisdom. His follower was a Dwarven Defender who kept Jack safe during battles, because he was rather poop in actual combat. He mostly did the healing and his only weapon was a defending longsword, keeping his AC up a bit.
So at some point we faced a lich in the Ethereal Plane. It got me with its paralysing touch, but then erected an Anti-Magic Field. The lich's touch being supernatural, it was surprised, but inside the Anti-Magic Field my sword wasn't magical, so couldn't hurt him. It was a rather uncomfortable situation. Of my four fellow party members (five if you count the defender) only one other was standing. Luckily he got the lich so far down that the lich died. Or so we thought. When riffling through the liches inventory to identify everything before plane-shifting back to the Prime Material Plane I stumbled upon a beautiful gem. The DM asked me to roll a Will saving throw, which I failed. He then took me apart and told me the lich switched his soul from in the gem with mine. So I could now play the lich, but I had to work to kill the party. The lich was a 17th level sorcerer, but completely out of spells at this point. So I decided to go with the party, pretend to be Jack and assault them when they (and mostly I) was rested and prepared, DURING the next encounter.
Then the next session: After a night of sleep, some preparation (selling off Jacks gear, because the armour was more restricting for a sorcerer than a bard and I needed some spell components) and an encounter with some city folk held at bay with a Repulsion, we went back into the adventure. We numbered seven total now, with me, my follower, the original four plus another party member that couldn't be there last session. We travelled back to the Ethereal Plane and continued after the liches chamber. Suddenly we saw two golems. Two of the more fighty character charged forward, my follower staying at my side and the other three starting to prepare buff and healing spells, I set off my plan. I cast Time Stop, followed by Prismatic Wall, cutting off the forward fighters from the back guard (and incidentally obscuring their vision), a Horrid Wilting (which we learned later wasn't possible, but meh) and a Pristmatic Ray. I took out all the support immediately, though one of them had a Contingency ready with Mass Cure Light Wounds, which put them all back on their feet (except the petrified banished cleric). The mage tried to cast a lightning spell on me, which was useless. I took out the healer with the paralysing touch. Then the mage cast a spell that did hurt a little bit, but I was miffed by the dwarf trying to get in my face. I took him out with a Feeblemind and the Mage died the round after to a Fireball.
Having taken out the support, I started buffing with Greater Invisibility, Reverse Arrows and Mage Armour. By that time the monk and the rogue had found a way to tunnel around my Prismatic Wall and a quick skirmish took place. I took out the monk and severely hurt the rogue. Then the rogue cast see invisibility on himself (Use Magic Device and a scroll nut). I got him down to 1 HP until he took out an arrow of greater undead slaying and fired it at me. At first we though Reverse Arrows would return it to him and slay him, but we found out just in time Reverse Arrows only works on non-magical arrows. Of course I failed my fortitude save.
Consequently... the rogue looted everyone and teleported away. He did leave one party member at a temple though, just to not be a complete jerk.
The faces of the party members when the Bard cast time stop though is what made this a memory for the ages.
You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the Reaper.
He had a few metamagic rods, every Elemental Substitution and Admixture, Maximize, Empower, Quicken... and Improved Metamagic the feat and Improved Metamagic the class feature. In one round he could pull a Polar Ray that had Max, Empower, Ad Fire, Ad Lightning, Ad Acid... and another that was everything but Empowered. (For those that were counting but got lost... that's 20*6*4*1.5 and 20*6*4... 1200 damage to one target.)
So, yeah, mister glass cannon could deal out a lot of damage... but in case you forgot or just skimmed over it, he was a Focused Diviner (Specialty Wizard, class option where you lose 1 spell per spell level but get a total of 3 spells of your specialty school per spell level). He was a walking information dispenser. It was great. Wanted to know where something or someone was? Yup. Scout an area? Yup. Investigate... anything? Yup. He told the party what to do and they learned to listen.
Honor, if you need it defined, you do not have it.
In another post someone said my games sound awesome... so I thought I'd come back to share some stuff from a couple of the games I've ran or am running now in 3.5 that I'm kinda proud of.
The two games that are currently still considered "running" even though one is on an indefinite hiatus: "The Church Jerks" and "The Evil Game".
The Church Jerks game has had some change in players over time... it started with a paladin and her warlock twin brother and a gnome bard. As things evolved? That paladin is now a paladin/monk saint. Her twin brother was relegated to NPC status and became an antagonist that was eventually overcome and converted to good again. The gnome was lost to the ether. The most current roster of characters... the paladin/monk with leadership (straight class cleric cohort), half-celestial sorcerer, 1/2-elf bladesinger. These folks are rocking Exalted feats/spells... and they know how to use them. Area spells that don't hurt good-aligned folk? Area spell blinds all evil folk seeing the light (no save, no spell resistance) in a 1/2 mile radius? Everyone using Holy weapons? Yeah, these guys bring Lathander's light everywhere. They've got their own town with teleport circles to/from their home town and their home country's capital. They've defended the capital from an army of undead. They overthrew the paladin/monk's demon-dealing sorcerer father and wiped out the city of demons he was building.
The Evil Game started as a single-player game but expanded... so there is a noble Drow arcane and divine necromancer that gets to add her arcane and divine caster levels together for the purpose of necromancy spells and for the purposes of rebuking undead. She has Leadership and Undead Leadership... so a small town of drow and undead all to herself. There's a brother/sister pair of commoner drow composed of a single-class druid (that turns into dragons and continues to blast out druid spells like an arcane blast-sorcerer) and a drow/half-fiend fighter/rogue. There is also a human/were-rat swawshbuckler that gets up to 3 attacks of opportunity against anyone generating one while he threatens... and if he threatens you and you do anything but attack him AND miss, he gets those attacks of opportunity with his keen rapier that drains levels on crits. The party is rounded out by an illithid monk that has 4 tentacle extensions and used a wish to upgrade his "plane shift at will" ability to "plane shift greater at will". I'm just waiting for this group to go thermal... but so far each of them having an "out" is what keeps them working together. The illithid can planeshift at will, the wererat swashbuckler has boots of teleport, the drow has teleport on her own and a telepath with a vested interest in keeping her alive cohort to do some too, and the brother/sister pair... well the sister druid has her own transportation too, so they're good (he probably isn't but he's a male drow so who cares?).
Heh. It's called Church Jerks because they're holier than holy...
...but the phrase 'Church Jerks' itself? It comes from a Homer Simpson quote.
The scene? Sideshow Bob's 'funeral', the Simpsons walk into the church and... Homer: I don't know about you, but I still can't stand him. Homer's echo: Can't stand him... can't stand him. (Everyone gasps) Homer: I don't care about these church jerks! Homer's echo: Church jerks... church jerks... Marge: Homer, you're behaviour is heinous. Marge's echo: Anus... anus... anus.